A nonsense poem for Shakespeare’s birthday

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Shakespeare birthday

Hey nonny nonny, today is and . William was a master of stinging insults and comical comebacks, so I’m sharing a video of my nonsense poem full of Shakespeareanesque insults.
Video: Poem: How to Insult With Shakespearean Style


Text version of the poem

How to Insult With Shakespearean Style
by Suzanne Olivante (written in 2015 and the winning entry for the Tweetspeak GIF competition). 

YOU clatter-brained bumble-spike,
YOU rotten-smackled slime-bin,
YOU slop-bucket noodle-flick
and belly-flopping custard-skin.

YOU pond-bottomed waffle-spoon,
YOU lump-faced dangle-wart,
YOU flea-bitten doodle-wipe
and mirror-howling waddle-snort.

YOU shriek-humped bitter-twist,
YOU plum-fangled piddle-dot,
YOU stink-walloped sausage-bag
and maggot-friendly squeezy-spot.

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A poem for Earth Day by Joe Miller – ‘If the Earth Were Only a Few Feet in Diameter’

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I can recall a friend at art college, writing out a copy of this poem for me.
At the time, we thought the poem had been written by David Icke, but the author is
Joe Miller. These words left a lasting impression on me.

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If the Earth Were Only a Few Feet in Diameter

“If the Earth were only a few feet in diameter, floating a few feet above a field somewhere, people would come from everywhere to marvel at it.

People would walk around it marveling at its big pools of water, its little pools and the water flowing between.

People would marvel at the bumps on it and the holes in it.

They would marvel at the very thin layer of gas surrounding it and the water suspended in the gas.

The people would marvel at all the creatures walking around the surface of
the ball and at the creatures in the water.

The people would declare it as sacred because it was the only one, and they would protect it so that it would not be hurt.

The ball would be the greatest wonder known, and people would come to pray to it, to be healed, to gain knowledge, to know beauty and to wonder how it could be.

People would love it, and defend it with their lives because they would somehow know that their lives could be nothing without it.

If the Earth were only a few feet in diameter.”

 

— Joe Miller


 

Global Poetry Writing Month

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glopowrimo poster

Hooray! It’s only 2 weeks until GloPoWriMo and NaPoWriMo. I’m looking forward to reading your poetry on WordPress next month.

I just wanted to let you know that I will not be posting writing prompts this year, as
I have other priorities and I also want to concentrate on taking part in the month-long challenge.

If you find yourself stuck for prompts, you can still find my GloPoWriMo prompts from 2018 on my blog. I also post writing prompts on TWITTER every Monday. These are offered via shared artworks, photographs, videos, and short animated films.

Good luck with the challenge.
Suzanne


 

Book Launch News

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The latest poetry anthology for children by The Emma Press is now available to pre-order (out 6 Dec).

‘The Head That Wears a Crown: Poems About Kings and Queens’, is an illustrated anthology of poetry and educational facts for children aged 8+.

I am thrilled to have a poem about the ghost of Mary Queen of Scots included in this fabulous anthology. If you’re looking for a stocking filler for young book worms, you can find out more about the publication and the contributing poets HERE

I love the book cover!